So I was talking to a friend and he asked me why more white women were married then black women.....
My immediate (smart ass) reply was that Black women wont date outside their race. And most black men are either in jail , gay or dating white women soooooooo its slim pickings!
Although i was being a smart ass there was some truth in this answer.
1. Many black women hate when black men date outside the race...I don't understand this and i wish some one would enlighten me! cause if i here one more "I cant believe hes dating a white girl" comment I'm gonna start lynching bitches!! just kidding (but seriously!!)
2. Many black men our in jail...in fact more are in jail then in college. And a lot of the ones in college are tasting the rainbow(if you know what i mean)
ANYWAY, after thinking deeper into the question,i realized that I'm single!
then i thought about why I'm single......... I mean I'm Cute, i have a nice body, I'm educated, i have a car, a great job, I have a fun personality, A great sense of humor, and the list goes on!
With all this i really don't need a man for anything but the "Bunz" and companionship.
And that's why I'm single!
like many other black women, i was raised by a single mother. My mom taught me how to be a strong women and that you don't need a man to be happy or to get where you want to be. If you have to you can do it by yourself and be successful.
And thats where it starts, a man is not a necessity to me. I can and will survive without one! And Men cant handle that especially black men.
Most Black women today were raised either 3 ways.
1.with just a mom, who tought them to be strong and independent
2.with just a mom, who was always relying on some man to pay the bills or do something
3.with both parents
If you were raised by the 1st then you are in my boat strong, educated and Independent and single.
If by the second then you may be educated but you probably depend on a man to make you happy and are easily influenced by men so you most likely a (jawn).you probably dont want to hear that but its the truth. And if you were lucky enough to have both parents then your of the select few that knows what a marriage is and knows how its supposed to work.
See,many black women don't know what a marriage looks like.we dont know how to compromise or to be submissive.Not saying that we have to be completely submissive ,BUT, we have to let a man be a man and we don't know how to do it.
A man wants be able to bring home the bacon and make decisions.......But Women also bring home the bacon AND are usually bringing home more bacon so they feel that they should make the decisions! which is right because if your paying most of the bills then why shouldn't you be making the important decisions.
The problem is, their is no compromise, men cant handle the new women, and they end up dating Jawns cause they are needy lol.
The sad thing is......i have so many theories on why this happens, but no clue how to change it.
In response to your interesting and very controversial blog post. I would like to suggest and state the following; although you describe the financial, emotional, and educated intelligence of a Black Woman as a curse, I personally believe it is now considered an opportunity for the Black Woman to re-evaluate her existence and acknowledge the sacrifices Our ancestors went through in order for her to become Independent. In doing so she can further share her talents and expand her network and that will expose her to new opportunities to meet well rounded males with an interest in a successful Black woman. The Cure is adapting to new surroundings and being honest about future goals (marriage, children, family,)
ReplyDeleteYou're single because you want to be...
ReplyDeleteMany women fall victim to "I'm single because I don't wanna put up with a man's shit syndrome"
While your blog contained points that I thought were very questionable, it does create pressure for women (and men) to seriously analyze their current position in the "love game". One point I did appreciate is that you identified what your current "needs" are lol. Now any person you deal with can determine immediately whether his goals match up with yours and move accordingly.
ReplyDeleteI do feel that your analysis of Black men was a bit skewed, however. Despite the negative perception, there are men, (BLACK men) ready and willing to be a lover, provider, and friend. Some of these men will discuss going through similar struggles as their female counterparts in finding a compatible mate. I feel both sides can achieve more success in dating by being more honest, committed, and "solution-oriented". If we continue to say we want one thing and chase another, we are destined to have these relationship trials for years to come. So while I appreciate the "Independent Woman" title, loved the Ne-Yo/Jamie Foxx remix and all that, it's my wish we focus more on the other incredible benefits a woman has to offer, like love, support, and intellect. Don't forget the beauty lol. Good job, lady; keep writing.